First of all, things are changing, and it is no longer true that Hawaii operates on a “don’t make waves,” “no talk stink,” “the nail that sticks up gets the hammer” kind of code.

Hawaii residents, perhaps now more than ever, will speak their minds, ask pointed questions, call out bad behavior straight to your face and put up a fight.

That being said, the reputation persists. People say it all the time, and they mean it pejoratively: Hawaii residents are nonconfrontational at best, meek at worst and unable to throw a (verbal) punch or take a (verbal) hit.

While that stereotype no longer holds, and perhaps was never wholly correct, there is a tendency in Hawaii for people to hold their tongue and to avoid confrontation.

Of course, it is always foolish to categorize an entire group of people as being all one way or another. In any group of people, no matter how homogeneous, there are variations, and Hawaii has an extremely diverse population.

But people in Hawaii aren’t prone to lean on the horn in traffic jams. They aren’t quick to yell at strangers to get out of the way. They tend not to cut in line, sneak ahead or elbow others to get in better positions. They don’t seem to enjoy the game of asking lots of pointed questions in a meeting or a classroom in order to demonstrate their intellect and superiority. Publicly airing personal grievances is often seen as self-serving and, at times, embarrassing.

But that’s not because of weakness. It’s strategy. Smart strategy. Survival instinct.

The thing that island people understand in a way that perhaps people from big cities or sprawling rural communities don’t is that words come with a cost. Accusations come with repercussions. Stoking controversy and fueling high drama doesn’t work on an island where you can’t drive off into the next county without falling into the ocean. Tell somebody off today and run smack dab into them tomorrow in the checkout line at Longs.

Consultants make good money helping developers and companies and politicians figure out what members of a Hawaii community REALLY want and REALLY think and REALLY are concerned about, like it takes a code-breaker to get island residents to confess to having negative thoughts.

People who live on an island know that silence speaks volumes and loudmouths often have nothing to offer. If nobody is talking about your big idea or grand proposal, it could be that nobody believes you, nobody cares or they think it’s stupid. If the boss asks if anybody has any concerns and nobody has any concerns, that means nobody trusts the boss not to take revenge on them for speaking their concerns.

Not every community is served by everyone constantly speaking their minds and blurting their feelings. There’s not enough room for all that screaming on an island. It’s much more productive to weigh one’s thoughts and measure one’s words to be most effective.

Reach Lee Cataluna at 529-4315 or lcataluna@staradvertiser.com.