It’s the last Sunday in July and time to “flASHback” on the month’s news that amused and confused:
>> In a Morning Consult poll, Gov. David Ige had some of the lowest constituent approval ratings of all the nation’s governors. He confused “quiet but effective” with “comatose.”
>> As Ige founders, U.S. Rep. Colleen Hanabusa dropped hints she’ll come home to oppose him in the 2018 Democratic primary. Her campaign slogan: “Let the big dog eat.”
>> Hawaii’s Brian Schatz and Mazie Hirono joined Bernie Sanders as the three most popular U.S. senators, according to Morning Consult. With this Senate, it’s like being named the most popular floater in a sewage spill.
>> A federally mandated blueprint to steer completion of the $10 billion Honolulu rail project hasn’t had a required update since 2012. Who needs a plan when the Legislature keeps writing you a blank check?
>> Mayor Kirk Caldwell told rail leaders to stop wasting time on audits of past mistakes and focus on the big picture. His big picture is like the dogs-playing-poker painting, except the dogs are smiling campaign donors.
>> Councilman Trevor Ozawa proposed to deploy armed rangers to deal with the homeless in city parks. It would be a better investment to arm City Council members with IQs.
>> The Howard Hughes Corp. is offering new Mercedes-Benz autos to luxury condo buyers in three of its Kakaako buildings. Do the homeless across the way get new shopping carts?
>> After North Korea launched a missile capable of reaching Hawaii, the state said it would test a distinctive nuclear warning siren along with the monthly tsunami alert. The nuclear siren will play “Aloha ‘Oe.”
>> The visitor industry scolded the state for drawing attention to the nuclear threat, fearing it will scare away tourists. Nah, we just need to convince them that atomic glow is the new sunburn.
>> Hawaii’s first medical marijuana dispensaries were supposed to open a year ago this month, but they remain stalled in a state bureaucratic tangle. It’s a race to see if we can get baked before we get vaporized.
>> Still saddled with $70 million in debt from the failed Hawaii Superferry, the Legislature wants a $50,000 feasibility study for a new interisland ferry. You’d think $70 million down the drain IS a feasibility study.
>> The biggest news was the return of Dunkin’ Donuts, with the opening of its airport store attended by happy customers, dancers, a marching band and company officials who declared, “Hawaii runs on Dunkin’.” It beats the heck out of running on pilikia.
And the quote of the month … from city Transportation Director Wes Frysztacki, opposing a forensic audit of rail spending: “Maybe we’ve already fixed the things that would be uncovered — and I think we have actually.” He knows this from the antenna on his tinfoil hat.
Reach David Shapiro at volcanicash@gmail.com.
